I’ve been inspired to share Ruby’s birth story after reading
a friend’s sister in law’s story. Ruby is almost 20 months now, so this is a tad overdue.
If you don’t want to hear things you might consider “gross”, stop
reading now.
It was July 2011. I
was due on July 12th, and my plan was to have a natural birth in a
hospital. I had taken a Bradley method
birthing class with my mom as my coach.
I went into the class with a little bit of skepticism, not sure I would
really end up going naturally. Even
though I was the worst student in the class and rarely did my homework or
exercises, by the end of the class I was committed to having a natural birth if
I could.
The summer of 2011 was hot as blazes, and by the time my due
date rolled around I was over being pregnant.
I was pretty much over everything, especially people who asked me
asinine questions like “when are you going to pop?” I went to work on the 12th, a
Tuesday, really hoping I was going to have a baby soon. I was disappointed that I hadn’t gone into
labor the previous weekend. My mom and stepdad
had set up a portable hot tub that took up my entire living room – not because
I wanted to have a water birth, but because I wanted to spend time at home
laboring in it before I went to the hospital.
It was nice to have the few days before I went into labor to just
relax. On the 12th, I got a
call from the manager of my apartment complex – they were having termite
inspections on that day. She was like “uh
there is a giant hot tub in your living room, and you’re not allowed to have
that in there.” I live on the 2nd
floor, so they were afraid it was going to go thru the floor. I frantically told her that today was my due
date, and that I would sign whatever waiver they wanted saying I would pay for
any damages, praying that nothing would happen.
They allowed me to keep it.
After work, I met my sister in law and my 4 year old niece
to walk around the mall. I started
getting what seemed like contractions but actually just felt like period
cramps. We walked for a while and then
went to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings – I was hoping the old wives’ tale about
spicy food would put me in labor. By the
time we finished dinner, I felt like I really needed to go home because I felt
like I had really bad cramps. I went
home and got in the hot tub and sent a Facebook message to Susan, my Bradley
teacher. She said she thought I was in
the beginning stages of labor. I texted
my mom, and she thought it was time to come over. By the time my mom got to my apartment around
11:30, I had what felt like my first real contraction. For several hours, I labored in and out of
the hot tub and on my porch. I found
that distracting myself during contractions by coming up with lists helped the
most. I came up with the most random
lists – all the different types of beans I could think of, all the states I had
been to, different classical composers, etc.
At one point, I tried sleeping through the contractions, but that didn’t
last very long. When my contractions got
harder, I got my mom to come up with lists.
Around 4:00 or 4:30 am, my contractions started to get stronger, and my
mom called Heather and Rachel, my two doulas, to come over. At this point, I no longer wanted to be in
the hot tub, but in my bed instead.
Heather and Rachel were so great. They helped me with breathing exercises and
put hot compresses on my back. My mom was
amazing, and she let me squeeze her hand probably to the point of cutting off
circulation. Teresa, another doula who
couldn’t be there the whole time, came for about 30 minutes to check my
dilation around 6:30 am. I think I was
around a 6 or 7. I ate some peanut
butter toast, and Heather went to get smoothies for all of us. Around 8:00 am, my water broke while I was in
bed. I got up to walk around and out
onto the porch. As I had a contraction
on the porch, I felt the slightest urge to push. I remember thinking “It can’t be time yet; I
probably shouldn’t say anything.” But I
told my mom anyway, and we all decided it was time to go to the hospital. They quickly grabbed hospital bags, and I no
longer cared about the labor and delivery playlist I had made on my
computer. We had to go!
It was morning rush hour, and my mom couldn’t decide which
route to take to the hospital. “Take the
interstate!” I told her. “Pass that truck! Drive faster!” When we got into the ER, I had a contraction
right in front of the check-in window. I
was fully expecting a nurse to rush out with a wheel chair, like I had seen in
the movies. Instead, the receptionist
casually asked me “Can I help you?” “I’m
in labor” I said. I wanted to say “I’m having a baby, you idiot!” She took me back to the ER bays and gave me
paperwork to fill out, which I immediately handed off to my mom. I couldn’t do it. They prepped me in an ER bay before taking me
to the delivery room. Thankfully, my
friend Liesl, who I have known since we were six years old, is a nurse at this
hospital, and she immediately took over.
She basically did all of the work until the doctor came in to catch
Ruby. They took me to the delivery room,
and I don’t remember a ton of what happened except that natural childbirth is
the most pain I have ever experienced in my entire life. I am a bit of a dramatic person, and I was
expecting to be screaming loud enough for the entire hospital to hear. Instead, I was surprisingly calm. I focused
on breathing, and my doulas, my mom, and Liesl were amazing. I remember during my contractions envisioning
a bicycle going up a hill as the contraction would build, reaching the top of
the hill as the contraction peaked, and then coming down the hill as the
contraction finished. Some hospital
clerk came to ask me administrative questions – what year did you graduate high
school? what is your highest level of
education – all while I was in the throes of labor. Instead of telling her to get out of my face,
I calmly answered her questions. Don’t
ask me how. I remember thinking "Why didn't I ask for an epidural?" I was really expecting that I wouldn't be able to handle the pain of natural childbirth, but I'm so glad I didn't get an epidural. My sister fed me ice chips
and put chapstick on my lips. I actually
had not planned to have her in the delivery room, but she somehow ended up
there, and at that point, I did not care who was there anymore.
Finally, I got to that point where I said “I can’t do this
anymore!” I think I probably said that a
lot. My mother said over and over “You
can do this. You ARE doing this.” She was such a comfort to me. I must have said it one too many times
because Liesl, my nurse, came over to me and grabbed my face with both hands
and said “Yes you can! You have to! Ruby needs you to do this!” I remember looking at her shocked and
thinking “Ok, I have to do this”. I
remember feeling like I needed to push, but they made me wait a little bit
longer until I was 10 cm. I can’t
remember if I pushed before the doctor came in, but at some point Ruby’s head
was showing, and Liesl said “wow, she has a lot of hair!” I thought she was
just saying that to boost my morale, so I sat up and said “Are you joking?” She
said “No! Do you want a mirror?” Before I could even answer, she brought in
huge mirror, and I saw Ruby crowning, and my sister saw more than she ever
wanted to see. They called in the
doctor, and I pushed for a total of 9 minutes!
I had never even met that doctor before – all she did was catch Ruby and
sew me up. I remember two distinct
pushes – her head and then the rest of her body. The first thing I said was “Why isn’t she
crying?” She was a tad purple and just required a little bit of massaging to
get her lungs to open up – I guess that’s what it was. She was crying not long after that. They must have put her on my chest
immediately because that’s what I asked for, but what I remember is my mother
holding her with her back to me, and I was like “Turn around!” Ruby was born at 11:09 am on Wednesday, July 13,
2011 – the day after my due date. She
weighed 7 lbs, 13 oz. I was in labor
about 12 hours total and in the hospital for 2.5 hours before she was
born.
I love my birth story, and after she was born, I wanted to
go up to complete strangers and say “Do you know what I just did??????” I managed to restrain myself, but I was
extremely happy that Ruby’s birth went so well.
I believe that God gave me such a great experience because I had other
difficult things to deal with doing this as a single mother. She was and is the joy of my life. :)
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